Chris: dont phones have auto cucumber !?

Chris again: correction * fuck

hahaha

I woke Chris up this morning and he complained that I disrupted him from a really good dream.. he told me, still half asleep “You were microwaving animals, and you put a dog in the microwave and it went wrong and turned the dog crazy.. So it sat on your head, turned round and broke your neck !” I asked him if it killed me and he snapped “I DIDNT FIND OUT BECAUSE YOU WOKE ME UP” .. Well sorrrrryy !

We were looking at a really nice top, in the girls section of Levi, and Chris said “I’d wear that even if I was a boy!!!”

“Hey, look an adidas shop… Maybe they’ll do adidas tracksuits there “

“Theres always stories of people drowning in the sea, how come there’s not dead bodies all over the beaches”

Chris: HAHAHA, I’m playing scrabble which is a word game and it’s saying verb isn’t a word !!

I looked and he had spelt it VEARB

Chris woke up in the early hours of the morning, with an epiphany.

Chris (half asleep): You know the saying that “Abs on a thin guy is like big boobs on fat girls” ?

Sarah: …Yeah ?

Chris: Well my saying is, “abs on a thin guy is like a girl with a dick in her hair”

Sarah: Are you awake ?!

Chris (asleep): zzzzZZZ

Chris: We have wisdom teeth and appendix from cave men

Me: Well done !

Chris: We have them from when cavemen used to eat stones

Me: STONES ?

Chris: Well, rocks. They ate rocks. GOOGLE IT, IT’S TRUE !!!

(Google confirmed that surprise surprise, cavemen did not eat stones. Or rocks.)

Chris: Whats a germacologist ?

Me: Do you mean dermacologist ?

Chris: HAHAHAHAAHAH DERM !?! IT’S GERM YOU IDIOT !